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RECLAIM
YOUR POWER
By:Susie
Cortright
http://www.momscape.com
Like
many moms, I suffer from selective amnesia. Mostly,
it revolves around things like pregnancy, labor,
childbirth, and the isolating early days with a
newborn, which, with the first baby, culminated in
the night I emptied the Diaper Genie and my
battered soul by howling something unintelligible
and swinging a roll of smelly nappies over my
head.
Thank
goodness for the sharp memory of my husband, who
sometimes finds it wise to remind me about those
things.
My
baby is six-weeks old now, which means she has
reached that magical age when the doctors okay her
(and her mommy) to fully participate in life. But
there are these struggles that keep popping
up
struggles that I had somehow forgotten
about in the two years between babies, and I have
to rely on my husband's remarkable memory once
again to let me know that these were the same
issues that popped up after the first baby. Then
they buried themselves deep in some dark hole
somewhere only to re-emerge now that we are
settling in with daughter number two.
I
have become familiar enough with these problems
that they now have a name. They are The Monsters.
The Monsters emerge from this dark hole to crawl
around my brain when I can't sleep at night, and
they pop out of my mouth before I can stop
them.
They
say mean things about finances and the sharing of
responsibilities. At bottom, they may just be a
sign that I'm bored enough to want to pick a fight
for the sheer drama of the experience. Because I
now recall some of these struggles that you all
report and I seem to have forgotten. It's the
tedium of playing with the playdough and vacuuming
up the playdough and finding playdough in my
bedsheets.
It's
the lack of control that pervades my days. It's the
attempt to get up four hours before the rest of my
family because in this warped world of early
motherhood, work time counts as "me time," and
hearing my toddler's footsteps on the landing as
she makes the long climb to my office. I'm glad she
takes the steps one-foot-at-a-time because it
affords me the time to sweep away my initial
reaction, which may involve the words, "Can't you
give mommy a few moments of peace after all the
sacrifices she makes
" and somehow dissolves
into an empathetic smile, a long hug, and a tuck-in
to the mattress I've moved into my office for this
very scenario, which usually happens about
half-past four.
It's
times like these when I struggle to recall how I
finally reclaimed the power and the control over my
life after my first child. After a little
searching, I remember. After a long while, I
snatched at all the control I could, and I let the
rest go.
I
surrendered to it after realizing that, no matter
how hard I try, I can't control when the little
ones will wake or when they'll want to eat or when
they'll poop, but I can control the way I deal with
it. I can control my energy level by controlling
what I eat and how much I exercise I get. I can
even control a few things in my work life.
After
the first baby, I reclaimed my power by joining a
gym with good childcare and started a home
business. This time, I kickbox during naptime and
work - mostly for the sake of my own identity -
during the wee hours.
Through
it all, I repeat to myself (as though it were a
mantra) that these choices are mine. I chose the
nursing pads by insisting on breastfeeding. I chose
the crazy work hours by insisting on staying home
with my girls. And if I forget, my husband will
remind me of that, too.
Happy
Mother's Day to you all. May you clutch what's
important this year and surrender what is not. And
may God grant you the wisdom, as that familiar
prayer pleads, to know the difference.
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About the author:
Susie Michelle Cortright is the author
of More Energy for Moms - http://www.momscape.com/energy
- and founder of the award-winning
website Momscape.com, designed to help
busy women find balance. Visit
http://www.momscape.com today and get
Susie's free course-by-email "6 Days to
Less Stress."
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