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Ol' Ready
To Run
(continued
from page 1)
Can you imagine what a sight
that might have been? It is truly a wonder, from
this and other stories that he tells, that he
survived those days, and lived to marry, start a
family, and father a daughter that later grew up to
become my wife. No doubt, many of you can tell of
similar experiences that you or your Dad had while
behind the wheel of an old tractor. I have heard
some really funny tales told by "experienced"
tractor operators, such as inadvertently running a
the machine through hornet's and wasp's nests while
brush hogging, or to one N series Ford being
mistaken as an interfering interloper, and attacked
by an angry but near sighted Bull who was defending
his territory.
A
few years back Dad grew tired of dealing with young
men who he would hire from time to time for the
purpose of plowing his garden, or brush hogging
that part of his place that he didn't mow himself.
Like many of you who are reading this story, Dad
has probably forgotten more about operating
tractors than many men my age will ever know, and
he resolved to get his own "Ford" just like the
ones he used all those years ago. All of us "Adult
Young'uns" in Dad's family didn't particularly
approve of the idea of the old man buying a
tractor, especially after hearing him tell those
tales of his experiences from those days of his
youth, all of us fearing the worse that Dad might
injure himself or meet with his own demise while
operating the machine. But when Dad makes up his
mind there is just no arguing with him so we all
started looking for a tractor. Subsequently my
Brother-in-law and I both found some good rebuilt
machines that we thought were great deals, but Dad
found one that the owner personally guaranteed was
"ready to run."
When
Dad made the deal with this guy, "Ol' ready to
run," all decked out in a very thick, fresh coat of
paint, started on the first hit, the vintage engine
"purring" like it did 60 years ago when it was a
new machine. Dad "kicked the tires" and "test
drove" the old beast, found it to his liking, paid
the man and made arrangements for "Ol' ready to
run" to be delivered to Dad's place at a later
time. Now this particular old tractor was different
than your run of the mill 4 cylinder Ford, from
what we were able to ascertain this was probably
one of the tractors that were later converted to
use a larger 6 cylinder 300 cubic inch industrial
motor under the hood instead of the standard N
series motor, which in Dad's thinking made the
machine unique and more valuable. Dad was so
excited that he made it a point to prearrange for
his son, and I to be there when "Ol' ready to run"
arrived so we could see his new acquisition that he
was so proud of.
Well
we were waiting when the tractor guy and Ol' Ready
To Run finally arrived, and were surprised when we
had to push the beast off of the trailer as it
wouldn't start. After the tractor guy had left we
discovered that he had removed the new battery that
was on it when Dad test drove it, and replaced it
with one that was deader than a doornail.
That
was our first indication that "Ol' ready to run"
was indeed less than ready to run.
Dad
purchased a new battery and we tried to start "Ol'
ready to run, only to discover several other
tidbits of dubious reengineering, various other
components that were defective or missing parts,
and jury rigged to run just long enough for the
previous owner to sell "Ol' ready to run" and then
run off, making his escape to an otherwise hidden
corner of the Ozarks, an unknown location
inaccessible to a proud but now angry owner of a N
series tractor and his sons, men just itching to
extract vengeance against this man who had sold
"Ol' ready to run" in an less than ready to run
condition.
At
this juncture, my Mother in law was beginning to
think that she now had a new and permanent lawn
ornament, as we had unloaded "Ol' ready to run" in
the middle of her front yard. Then to make matters
worse, one of her brothers happen to drop by, who
was a life long farmer of the Ozarks, a man that as
soon as he was diaper trained had spent the next
fifty years of his life in the seat of a tractor
working fields on rocky Ozarks ridge tops. And as
you might expect in this situation he was long on
advice and short on help when it came to aiding us
in our dilemma.
Now
I will be the first to admit that I have not been
fortunate enough to have lived on a working Ozarks
farm, but I have lived in the rural Ozarks long
enough, and have listened to the advice and stories
told by farmers to have some degree of the
knowledge required for country life. Therefore I
really took exception to this gentleman's comments
when I climbed aboard "Ol'ready to run" attempting
to start it and he compared me to Oliver Wendell
Douglas. Remember "Green Acres" that situation
 comedy
that ran from 1965 to 1971 and was produced by Paul
Henning the creator of "The Beverly Hillbillies"?
Remember Eddie Albert portraying the character of
Douglas, the Manhattan attorney that left "city
life" and sought "fresh air" in the country and was
always doing his chores in a three-piece suit or
wearing a white shirt and tie while driving his
Fordson model F tractor. I really don't think that
I looked so out of place on "Ol ready to run" as to
cause this observer to conjure up visions of Eddie
Albert as Oliver Douglas, a man so obviously out of
place on a tractor and out of his environment as to
create an image so absolutely hilarious to a native
of these Ozark Mountains. After all, I wasn't
wearing my "Sunday go to meeting" suit, so I have
no earthly idea what gave him the basis for that
comparison. Well anyway, after a few days of trial
and error, we finally discovered most of the parts
and components that had been reengineered or
entirely missing, repairing or finding
replacements, and finally "Ol ready to run"
actually did run, for a while.
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Stone
Creek Crossing
